Hey guys, what’s up?!
I know it’s been a while but I don’t have all that much time to always sit down and blog. Anyway, my sister is in a situation right now that I just really have a big opinion on. Your “typical” girl is usually considered a doormat. She lets men walk all over her because she falls too quickly for them and doesn’t realize what’s going on. Typically, that man isn’t going to fall for the girl as quickly...we all know that situation. Most guys aren’t looking for anything serious with these doormat girls. I think the most common situation here is boy meets girl at a bar. Girl is actually at bar either to avoid men and spend time with her girls or she is looking for “love” or something like it. Maybe she has insecurities and she just needs to meet someone who makes her feel good if even for one night. The man looking for the girl in this situation probably just wants to get laid or even possibly meet a girl he can casually date. The opposites in expectations here are not the problem to me, however.
Here’s what I think on the subject. These women have such low self-esteem but WHY?! Ugh...maybe it’s the media I don’t know but we could all sit here and come up with our own interpretations but the fact still remains a LOT of women that get stuck in these situations have low self-esteem even if they try to hide it up with confidence in another area. I’d like to think I was like that at one time. However, growing up I never really had friends so I was used to having self-esteem issues forever. But throughout the years I learned from it. I don’t understand how other women don’t learn from those relationships. I mean I do get it because I was there once. I was definitely a doormat just going into college. But I learned quite quickly. My relationships began to fizz off after about 6 months or so. I noticed this trend after dating like three men for more than 6 months (meaning I dated each individual at least 6 months at one time, just him). But nothing bad happened in those relationships to cause the ending, we just realized we weren’t a fit. Actually, let me put it this way: I was the one who realized we weren’t a good fit.
That brings me to my next opinion. I think people are settling all the time and I think that’s the cause of most divorces. Not to mention getting married too quickly. I think people don’t even realize they are settling. They fight all the time, have split up more than one time in the past, and yet they are getting married? Does that not throw up a red flag there? I mean you’re constantly going through something. Not only does it cause you stress and anxiety but now you’re stuck with someone you realize years later you don’t get along with. So why is it so hard to be cautious? Then people pretend and TRY to be cautious and fail completely. Maybe people are being treated too badly by others, then when they meet someone nice they fall for them right off the bat cause they’ve never had that before. Then down the road they stop getting along.
My sister has had some relationship problems and went back to the guy twice and that’s why I brought this up. Her Facebook updates have had severe mood swings about it. I don’t know...but I recommend a great book to those women who are reading this thinking “You know, she might be right. Maybe I’m settling all too often and that’s why they keep leaving me” or “maybe I really AM being a doormat with men.” Well if you are like that then I suggest you read “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl” by Sherry Argov. I read this book after I had already learned from all those relationships, so I was just reading to see if I learned correctly. Indeed I did, as this book explains how becoming a confident and independent women will attract pretty much all men. You don’t have to change your personality, just don’t let the man take over your train of thought. It is YOUR life and if you’re just meeting him or haven’t been together too long, then you should NOT be making your decisions based on HIM because he’s not doing the same. So “man up,” I say, ladies. You’ll be much happier with your relationships and you will learn very quickly and easily just how many men there are out there and that that one man you thought was “the one” is so far from it, it’s ridiculous. It breaks my heart to see all the doormats out there in the dating world now, it’s even spread to some men. Sometimes the roles are reversed now where the woman is walking all over the man. Maybe he could learn from this book too...in a different way of course.
Just remember...everything...SO much of your life is controlled by your attitude which only YOU have the ability to change.
-Kendra
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